Resolved Resolutions And Revelations

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What are your resolutions?

I had a revelation. I was lying on my bed in my thinking position and was ruminating on what had been resolved in my life this year. I came to the conclusion that I hadn’t resolved much.

I decided that life is precarious, an evolving experience. The ups and downs come and go. I never know what’s going to happen next—good or bad. One thing for sure is the fact that the holidays will pass—and we all know what comes after that, a brand new year.

As each new year approaches, I make resolutions to alter my lifestyle—things that I plan to accomplish, projects which might affect my continued survival. I’m talking about making a definitive commitment or finding a solution to a problem and resolving it with action. The operative word here is action.

I could rebel against my body continuously needing repair; a patch here, a remedy there. Another new wrinkle (when did that happen?), which means more creams and emollients. What’s that clicking sound in my knee when I stand up? Is it the relentless aging process? Is the creaking of my joints the sound, like a mariachi band, of my body’s revenge for not exercising enough? I could change its tune and shake things up: alter my habits—try something new. Of course, that is if I could discover what that something new might be.

Here’s one: I will not procrastinate. I will clear out my closets of unneeded stuff—discard clothing I never wear. This commitment sounds as probable as a sagging couch that needs reupholstering.

Here’s another resolution: Perhaps I will go to China and tour the provinces. Sounds good, butand this is a big but—it takes effort: plane travel, packing, talking to travel agents, money and other hidden expenditures of effort, including schlepping luggage through the airline terminal. I’m slowly talking myself out of this resolve as I speak. No action here.

I will find new, interesting ways to spend my time, such as meet new people. This is doable, but it takes enthusiasm on my part, which I’m not sure I am eager to expend. As I write these resolutions, my resolve is melting into a puddle of ennui, like the tigers in Little Black Sambo.

I resolve I will exercise every single day without fail. I will give up bread, I will be kind and good to all living creatures. Enough already! Observers of these pronouncements are aware that these exercises in determination are not likely to happen.

There are very few solutions or resolutions to some chronic problems, such as dealing with people who grind me down.

It takes true grit to keep these individuals in my life. I will never feel comfortable in the company of irritating people. They are like a hair shirt rubbing away at my determination to keep them in my fold. They will always make me feel miserable. I might as well relax and let them do their thing and try to ignore the jabs and games they play. I’m talking about the biggies, namely old friends and family members. They are hard to discard. I will let the other nudniks go—and good riddance.

It seems I am going around in circles. I sound less than positive. Right now, I will settle for getting rid of the lesser irritants. If I could resolve these in the near future, I would be satisfied—that is until a new dilemma comes along.

I am determined to have pluck, commitment and determination. I will bring to a conclusion all of my doubts and problems—I will be more tolerant.

Have a Happy New Year and remember, sacred cows make great hamburgers.

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Maxine Stone is a columnist for Great Neck Record.

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